He was so ugly he didn't feel he was one of them. Their pristine white necks perched atop their titanium sholders, he said. He felt like a little swallow in the assembly of Swans. That is why he told me, he refused to cut his hair. His little eyes masquerading behind them watched to find a friend. Those glowing little eyes of his, toiled to open as large as theirs. But they laboured so hard even they betrayed him. They all, all, all betrayed him. Why did he have to be here when he was not meant to be. Why was he so ugly, so unlike them he asked.
And then he turned towards me and said..."you are one of them you know. But...at least you listen."
I told him, "Now i know how you feel. Because for the first time I feel ugly."
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ReplyDeleteAre Red I and Red II connected? Because if they are, I missed something... didn't seem to have a continuous flow. But having said that, I loved the note that Red I ends on. It's a bit like something I was thinking about doing in "The Dead Wives' Club"... not same, but similar. Anyway, good work.
ReplyDeleteHey good stuff...your prose style is pretty lyrical....and it definitely seems like you have a sweeping plot up your sleeve...but I feel you can help the reader here a bit..maybe you should be giving more of the context...though you dwell a lot on the characters and their sensitivity, but i guess if you help the reader with a bit more of some pointers then he can relate better...(or is this precisely the plan...to lead the reader to an eureka! moment?? )
ReplyDeleteas for now..am waiting for III :)
Well they r connected in the sense tht...its bout the same people..but thts it. Otherwise its like chunks frm diff stages of life. but thnx soo much!!!
ReplyDeletedude ur work leaves me longin for more...n this one is just awesome..words cannot express wat oi felt after readin it!*lowe*
ReplyDelete